


Rafael and Sonny Die

by Bicarisi



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Best Friends, Crack, Death Threats, Fake Character Death, Faked Suicide, Friends to Lovers, Glory Hole, Homophobic Language, It’s always sunny inspired, I’m so sorry, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-03 19:30:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20458286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bicarisi/pseuds/Bicarisi
Summary: After a death threat, Rafael and Sonny decided to fake their own deaths in order to save themselves.-inspired by the it’s always sunny in Philadelphia episodes Mac and Charlie die-





	1. Rafael and Sonny die: part 1

**Author's Note:**

> My best friend and I got this idea to start a iasip/svu Universe and I’m so sorry

The courtroom was small and stuffy, Rafael and Sonny were squeezed together in a small box, nervously waiting for the judge to ask questions. 

They were both fearing for their lives. 

“Okay, just one more time for the parole board. You have stated that; and I quote, that Mr. Johnson was going to: “Eat the living shit out of you” is that correct?” 

Rafael cleared his throat, “Yes, that's correct”, wincing at the feedback of the microphone. 

The judge counituned. “And your statement, Mr. Carisi was that the defendant told you, and I quote: ‘Shove a bunch of stuff up your butt or else,’ is this correct?” 

Both Rafael and Sonny nodded, Sonny tried to reach for the microphone while trying not to hit Rafael with his long arms. “Uh yeah that's true.” The microphone had an even louder feedback this time. “Shit sorry-” he muttered. 

“Warren please, they are lying. I don't want to hurt them. In fact, I want to get as far away from them as I can.” Johnson, the defendant looked like he was telling the truth. He was making the board believe they were crazy and he wanted to get as far away from them as possible. 

“He's lying! Don't listen to him, he's going to kill us!”, They both screamed, yanking the microphone from each other to take turns screaming. 

“Hey, hey order in the court! Leave the fucking mic alone!” the bailiff screamed at the two men causing a scene. 

“Sonny- Sonny just leave it,” Rafael gave the longer man a soft, calming look; knowing Sonny was anxious. 

“Okay,” the judge stood up. “I think I’ve made my decision.” 

Johnson made parole. Sonny and Rafeal were fucked. 

X

“Sonny, running away is not the answer” Raf was chasing after Sonny while he picked up random items from his apartment to pack in a bag. “We can try to figure something else out,” 

“Raf, he's going to /kill/ us.” Rafael saw the tears build up in Sonny's eyes, it was killing him. “What else is there to do?” 

Rafael was silent for a moment before he got an idea. 

The greatest idea of all time. 

“Wait, I got it.” he sat next to Sonny, holding his hands so he would listen to him. 

“The only way for Johnson not to kill us is if we are already dead—” 

Sonny jumped up. “God, I was waiting for you to say that, great, let's do it, let's kill ourselves!” he said, almost too excitedly. 

“That's not what I meant—” he sighed, why was Sonny his best friend again?

“No, really, I'm all for it, I’ll stab you and then myself!” 

Rafael sighed, “No. I’m saying that we /fake/ our deaths, dumbass.” 

“Well, pick one because we can’t do both, Rafael!” 

“We’re going with the second one,” Rafael took a breath. “Sonny, you know I will never let anyone hurt you right?” 

Sonny blushed lightly, “I know. Now how do we fake our suicides?” 

Rafael shrugged, “How would you do it?” 

“I don't know, I mean it has to be awesome because we're awesome guys, right? Like explosions and stuff.” 

“You’re right but our bodies-” 

“We can leave our teeth out and stuff, watch this” Sonny took his hand and just pulled a tooth right out of his mouth as if it was a five year olds loose tooth. 

“Sonny, what the actual fuck-” 

“See? Now they can identify our bodies” 

“Sonny i swear to God if you don't stop doing that-” 

There was a knock at the door. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

“Sonny you home? We got a dick hole in the bar and we need you to come fill it” It was Amanda. It was the first time Rafael has been happy to hear her voice. 

“Well, I have to fill Amanda's dick hole before we die” 

“We don't have the time, is her car here?” 

Sonny looked over his shoulder; out the window, “yeah it’s here” 

“Okay grab the camera, I'm gonna steal her keys; then we’ll go.” 

Sonny nodded, having the camera ready in hand. 

Amanda continued knocking, “Sonny, come on—” 

Rafael popped out, took her keys and slammed the door right into her face. 

“Hey! What the fuck, Barba!” 

Rafael ran, “Go Sonny, go!” 

Sonny crashed a stool into the window. “Why the ever living fuck would you do that Carisi?! You could've just opened it!” 

“Well I—” 

“Just fucking go.” 

X 

Sonny and Raf sat in Amanda's car in an abandoned junk alley. Once the plan works out they can finally be safe. 

“Okay so do we have everything?” Rafael looked up, he could see the anxiety in Sonny's eyes, he wished he could make it go away. 

“Yeah, I put my teeth all over the car, we got the tape and I have the will right here; I think that if we dropped out out of the window that people would think it was an accident.” 

Raf rolled his eyes, “yeah i'm /sure/ they will think that.” 

Sonny smiled, and for a second Rafael wasn't nervous about the plan. 

“So what do we do?” 

“Okay so. We drive straight into that wall right there and the car explodes, but we jump out at the last second.” 

“Okay cool, have fun and don't get hurt” the taller one says before opening his door to get out. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Oh, I was just going to watch you die.” 

“What the fuck no, we are killing ourselves together get back in here!” 

“I'm just gonna stand right there!” he whined, “what else am i gonna do anyways?” 

“Okay fine.” 

Sonny closed the door and ran out to the side. Rafeal looked out his window and rolled his eyes “you fucking pussy!” 

Sonny just gave him a thumbs up. 

Rafael started the car and rammed straight into the wall; but he didn’t jump out. 

Sonny started screaming and ran for the car “Rafael! Oh god, no no—” 

Raf stepped out of the car, face all bloodied up.

“Why didn't you jump out???” Sonny was holding back tears, “you could have died—” 

“I’m okay, I just wasn't thinking-” 

“God, Raf, now we have to set the car on fire. Can you stand?” 

Raf groaned in pain, “Not really, but this plan has to work.” 

“Okay come on, I got you” Sonny held Raf up, being soft and gentle with him. 

Rafael smiled. “Lets go set the car on fire.” 

X 

“Why are we at a pawn shop?”

“Because you can find anything at a pawn shop!” 

“Nothing to burn a car with...” Raf looked as he was about to faint. 

“Hey are you sure you're okay? You're still bleeding” 

Rafeal swore that he melted right on the spot. 

“Hey!” Sonny said, cutting Raf out of this thought. “Look! It’s a wedding dress,” 

“Okay and? That has nothing to do with our suicide Carisi,” Raf looked around some more until he saw something that caught his eye. “Sonny they have guns here?” 

“See I told you! Pawn shops have everything.” 

“That should work shouldn't it?” 

“Yeah” Sonny perked up, “are you sure that we have enough for the gun and the wedding dress, though?” he frowned. 

“What do you mean? Were not buying a wedding dress—“ 

“But Raf, we can't just leave it here.” 

“Yes we fucking can.” 

“But—” 

“No— ugh.” Raf tapped on the bell to get the attention of the store clerk “Hi. My friend and I need something to destroy a car and something for us to relax, please”

Both of the men walked out of the pawn shop with a bomb, a bottle of poppers... and a wedding dress. 

X

“I don't see why you felt the need to actually wear the dress.” 

“There's a lot to the story like, where is the bride now? Is she still in New York?” 

“Can we just get this over with and die already?” 

Sonny's hands were shaking, “Yeah, give me a popper”, and he does. Longing his finger on Sonny’s for a second longer. 

“Okay, stay back” , Sonny nodded. 

Raf ran to the car and then back to safety.

The bomb barely put a dent in the car. 

“Fuck!” Raf shouted, “that didn’t do anything,” 

“Wait, I can shoot at the gas tank and it'll blow up” 

“No. you'll actually get yourself killed. And you're in a wedding dress.” 

“You're so cute when you're protective of me, Rafi” 

“You’re high. And fine, do what you want, but don’t cry if you get hurt.” 

Sonny almost wastes all of the bullets, doing absolutely nothing to the car. How did he even pass the academy? 

“So... that didn't work out, I guess the cops will think that we kinda… just died?” 

Rafael nodded, holding sonny close to his chest, “Yeah, I guess so,” 

“So what do we do now?” 

He sighed. “We take Amanda's credit card, buy some camping equipment and other supplies. Then it's just you and me.” 

“Just us? Forever?” 

Rafael smiled. “Forever.” 

X 

_At the bar_

“Mike, you're ruining the purpose of the glory hole!” Olivia yelled. “You're supposed to only see the persons dick!” 

“Guys, you should come out here”, Amanda called them out. 

“Oh, hey we fixed the glory hole, what’s up?” Mike raised his eyebrow. 

“Well according to the NYPD, Rafael and Sonny are dead.” 

Amanda played the tape that they had left, it was both of them sitting in the car, looking back to face the camera, Rafael was the first one to speak.

“Mike, Liv, if you're watching this that means Sonny and I have killed ourselves” 

Sonny moved to speak, “Yeah, our lives were just, really sad and stuff so we decided to end it all” 

Rafael cut him off, “Actually my life was okay but Sonny and I made a suicide pack and I have to do it, we’re best friends” 

“Okay so we left our will and legally you have to do everything on it.” 

Rafael turned on the radio, him and Sonny held hands. Then the video cut to black.

There was a moment of silence in the bar.

Liv was the first to speak, “I can't believe they are dead...” 

“I can’t belive those faggots didn’t inculde me in their suicide pack.” Mike huffed. 

“You guys don't actually believe this do you? They're doing something fucking stupid but they're aren't dead.” Amanda said. 

“How can you say that about them?” both attack her, “you saw the tape!” 

She rolled her eyes, “are you guys fucking kidding me? They blew up my car!” 

“Well, that's just your fault.” Liv added. 

“Really? Well Mike in the will they want us to burn the orange and pink tie and bury it.” 

“There's no way in hell im burning that tie.” Mike took a drink. 

“Well they aren't dead” 

X

_On the roof of the bar_

“Wow, they sound really broken up” Sonny says while sipping his beer. “I mean we can hear them from up here, crying and everything.”

Rafael just nodded. Sonny took his blanket and snuggled up to him, his heart raced. 

“What do we do now?” 

“I don't know, but we'll figure it out okay? I promise.”


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the gang have a funeral for Rafael and Sonny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we all with part two!! I really hope you liked this story even thought it was such a mess and thank you for reading!

Mike stood at the front of the bar, wearing the tie Rafael had stated for him to burn in his will. He cleared his throat and began to speak. 

“Well, I guess this is everyone,” there were dozens of chairs at out in front of him, with only Olivia, Amanda, Rafael's mother, and one of Sonny’s sisters filling them. “So. what can I say about Rafael?” he paused to think. What does he have to say about him? He was his best friend, he had to say something. 

After a moment he states, “Rafael was… such an angry tiny man—” 

“Burn the tie!” Olivia cut him off, yelling from the crowd. 

“I told you there's no way in hell im burning it! I’ll wear it to honor him,” he walks over to the box filled with Rafael’s and Sonny's things. “I’ll burn his other shit like these stupid suspenders,” he throws a handful onto the stage. “But I’m not burning this fucking tie! anyway I’m done.” he goes to sit back down. 

Olivia stands, trying to drag Amanda up with her. 

“I'm not doing this!—” the blonde complained. 

“Amanda, get your ass on stage now!” 

She groans and follows the older women. 

Olivia was the only one to speak, “Before Rafael and Sonny died they made this slideshow, we decided to play one of their favorite songs along with it.” she nodded at Mike to hit play. 

Closer by The Chainsmokers and Halsey played while the slideshow started. 

The first photo was of Sonny, leaning on a gate looking like an ad for Men.com, then of Rafael looking like a huge fucking dumbass doing jumping jacks. 

Sonny’s sister was sobbing, Rafael's mother had fallen asleep, Mike just rolled his eyes. 

The last two photos were Rafael and Sonny in cowboy hats, riding off together with the text ‘goodbye cruel world’ under it. 

“Okay now that's done,”Amanda walked off the stage as soon was the slideshow was over. “Thank you all for coming, Mike I need a ride home” 

“Nope, I need to find some hot new roommates, it's time to move on ‘Manada,” he yelled as he walked out. 

X 

“What the fuck do we do? Amanda finally caught on and cancelled her card.” Rafael panicked, pacing outside the small store. 

“Shit, we have no food-” , “We'll figure it out I promise” 

Rafael sighed, “Along with that, They gave us a fucking shitty funreal,” Raf grunted “they’ve barely talked about me,” 

“Hey come on, at least your mom was there; she was asleep but she was still there.” 

He rolled his eyes, and sonny chuckles. 

“Come on, we should be going back-” 

“You motherfuckers!” a voice yelled in their direction. 

Shit. 

It was Amanda. 

“What the ever loving fuck is wrong with you two?? You destoyed my fucking car!?” 

Sonny looked as if he was about to cry, Rafael tried to cut the angry blonde off. 

“We can explain,” he started, 

“Explain?? Explain how uncool it is to fucking ruin my car, and making all your friends and family think you’re dead?” 

“Actually,” he thought about it for a second; “that sounds super cool” 

Sonny agreed, “Yeah,”

She groaned, “look, I dont give a fuck what youre doing but; buy me a new douge 1997 or I’ll tell Oliva and Mike that you faked your own deaths.” 

Sonny sighed. “Amanda dont be stupid, you can’t buy a new car from 1997. Unless there's time travel.” 

“No you fucking idiot—” 

“Listen, Sonny and I were getting death threats and the guy we think was sending them got parole.” 

“What the fuck, why didn’t you say anything sooner?” 

“See? Now you have to fake your death.” 

Amanda just rolled her eyes. “Fine.” 

X

At Mikes Apartment. 

Mike had two shirtless men wearing speedos grinding on him when he heard a knock at the door. 

He rolled his eyes, pushed one of the men off him “sorry fellas, gotta get that”, he walked over and open the door to Amanda in jogging clothes. 

“Hey Mike! Just thought to tell you that i'm gonna jog at night-” 

“So? Why are you telling me can't you see im busy?” he looked inside to check on his guests. 

“It just that it's really dangerous and-” 

Mike rolled his eyes and slammed the door on her face. 

“God damn it.” 

X

At mikes window 

“That fucking slut. I die and he does this?’ Raf was pissed. 

“I mean those guys are super hot—” sonny added. 

“Shut up, I bet Olivia is throwing a party too.” 

X

Outside olivia's window 

Oliva had made a doll that had looked like Sonny, Sonny and Raf watched as she was crying while hugging it. 

“Okay you made your point.” 

X 

At the bar 

It was Rafael’s idea to break in and trash the place, he was petty that no one was sad that he died. 

“Okay we are haunting these bitches,” rafael yelps as he puts the TV on. All of the chairs at the bar were stacked up. 

Sonny nodded “Yeah but why the ‘Poltergeist’ thing? it's not even a scary movie.”

“What do you mean?” 

“It all about psychological damage. I have psychological damage,” he held his hand just about the height of his forehead, “-up to here. It's not a big deal. What we need to do is start murdering people.” he nods proudly to himself. 

“We don't have the time to unpack all that—” 

Amanda then ran through the door. “Guys I just had the worst night—” 

“I don't care. Sonny and I are talking about something.” 

Suddenly there was a noise outside, as if a group of people were heading into the bar.

“Shit. its Mike, back office.” 

X

“That's it we’re ending this.” Rafael peaked out, “Who cares if we get murdered? I want in on the hot guy party.” 

“What do they have that I don't?” Sonny pouted. 

“Don't start with this—”

“Did you guys forget I was here?” Amanda sighed, “you know what we should do? Scare the living shit out of them.” 

“Yeah! Hold on we still should have fireworks,” 

X

Moments later, the three of them come rushing out of the back room popping fireworks. “Ha! We got you bitches!” 

Mike and Olivia turned to look at them. “What do you mean? I knew you weren't dead,” 

Sonny pouted, “how?” 

“We could hear you on the roof? I /saw/ you guys looking at me through the apartment window!” 

“Wait,” Amanda cut in, “what about me?”

“Oh. I actually thought you were murdered.” he shrugged. 

“Fair.” she nodded. 

Sonny looked at Olivia, “even you knew? What was the doll thing for?..” 

Olivia held back tears, “ha… yeah, yeah I totally knew..” 

Mike stood back in, “what was the point? It's super fucked up.” 

“Johnson made parole, he made threats that he was gonna kill us,” 

“Oh!” Olivia skeaked. “He actually sent you a letter, he never wants to see the two of you ever again and to never contact him,” 

Rafael and sonny looked at each other. “..oh.” 

“So we actually didn't have to do all of this..” 

“Nope.” Amanda looked pissed. 

Sonny and Rafeal started into each other's eyes, they were safe. No one was going to hurt them as long as they are together. 

Rafeal sighed in relief.   
“So…sorry about your car...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos 
> 
> Twitter: @bottomcarisi

**Author's Note:**

> Leave comments and kudos!!! 
> 
> Twitter: @bottomcarisi


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